One of the many perks of your twenties is that you can still babysit and do all sorts of odd jobs. The first time I met three-year-old Sunshine, I had just returned from seven months in London. I was moping around the house in desperate need of cheering up when her father came by the house to invite my family to a neighborhood event. He had Sunshine in a baby snuggly and I couldn’t help but lean in and coo at his beautiful baby. She absolutely lit up and started laughing and kicked her legs wildly. From that moment on, I knew we were going to be great friends.

For me, one of the most pleasant things about babies is that you can pick them up and just start laughing and they’ll laugh with you. How often do you get to laugh at absolutely nothing without people fearing for your sanity? Only when you’re holding a baby!

Despite our age difference, I loved hanging out with her. I felt like I was hanging out with a friend (a friend who throws the occasional tantrum). We have things in common. We both go to ballet. We both love pizza. We both love the neighbor’s dog. Because of her, I came to realize I would love to teach ballet to children someday.

But occasionally when I look at her sweet smiling face, I become sad. I wonder what going to happen to her once she goes to elementary school. I wonder how high school will effect her spirit. Will she be a bossy queen bee or the social outcast? I wonder if she’ll get invited to dances -something which didn’t come my way. Will her awkward phase be mild or harsh? Mostly, will she feel included? Will she be subjected to ridicule and teasing for simply being herself? Will she get to high school and dumb herself down for the sake of fitting in? Will she have a positive self-image? Will she always love herself, even if she packs on the pounds and doesn’t know why?

(I gained my high school weight in elementary school and I continued to grow in high school. I felt as if the gods were punishing me. I am slimmer now that I’ve been in twelve years. I have strong arms and defined legs. When I dance, I look in the mirror and smile.)

I hope that she’ll be first picked for kickball. I hope that she will work hard and excel in school. I hope she realizes that you don’t have to be the best at everything. I hope she’ll take comfort in books and not always feel the need to please the crowd. I hope her classmates will look up to her, even if she’s not the most popular or the prettiest. I hope she will stand up for others and what is right, even when it’s difficult.

One day my little Sunshine and I were outside playing with a neighbor’s dog in the grass. It was quite the cinematic moment and the very definition of “joy”. I looked down at her happy, smiling face and said, “If I had one wish for you, it would be that you should always be so happy.” My neighbor who was clearly touched by this statement, replied, “That’s some wish.” He may be right, but I mean it fully and whole-heartedly. Maybe it’s because when I look at her, I always see a little bit of myself and I think, ‘I should be so lucky to bear such a thoughtful, joyful, precocious child of my own.’ I know children aren’t always easy. . . but with kids like her, it reminds me that I can do it.

This kind of crap really sets the effort back, now doesn’t it?

How could Ms. Seltzer of Campbell Hall Episcopal Day School’s gang-banging story come off as so authentic that she would not only fool her respected agent, her reputable publisher –but also put blinding stars in the eyes of the editorial team that created the ridiculous (pre-revelation) feature story in the New York Times showing her in her Oregon kitchen in her post gang banging life? I can imagine the excitement in the photographer’s face as he tells her, ‘here, hold this red bandanna up to your (white suburban upper middle class) face’ for this gritty shot?

Was Ms. Seltzer book deal and subsequent flurry of press the result of true and exceptional literary merit – that raw, honest, searing but yet lyrical truth telling, the tender unexpected revelations and intricacies of language that we all hunger for – or was it the shiny patina of sensationalism and buzz? I can’t help but wonder and it worries me.

An article entitled We Scream, We Swoon, How Dumb Can We Get? appeared in the Washington Post today. In it, contributor Charlotte Allen writes tauntingly of her own gender:

“What is it about us women? Why do we always fall for the hysterical, the superficial and the gooily sentimental?“

Her missive was inspired by the phenomenon of women swooning at Obama rallies and also by what she deems a poorly executed campaign by Hillary. Whether I agree with her on that last point is of another matter – but the reason I am posting a link here is that for a long time I have been put off by the two extreme (and extremely flat, non-descriptive) images of women focused media. The image seems to either be:

1. Feminazi, tough and somewhat angry
2. and on the other end of the spectrum ‘girl power’ or another more cozy Kleenex grabbing version of cutesy, juvenile, cloying, ‘healing’ and ‘fixing’ (read: victim mentality). Pink, cozy, and decidedly unserious.

What kind of ongoing effect can this have if we don’t break the cycle and present an alternative? In the end, I think this article is wildly misogynistic.

She says:

“Depressing as it is, several of the supposed misogynist myths about female inferiority have been proven true ” and ends with “So I don’t understand why more women don’t relax, enjoy the innate abilities most of us possess …and revel in the things at which …we excel: tenderness …the ability to make a house a home….Then we (can) shriek and swoon and gossip and read chick lit to our hearts’ content and not mind the fact that way down deep, we are . . . kind of dim.”

THIS makes me want to sit up and prove this (dimwitted) woman wrong.

The LA Times reports that Obama offerings from the world of fashion far outsell that of Hillary (and McCain obviously). From Shepard Fairey to Marc Jacobs to CafePress tee shirts, the numbers are pretty remarkable.

today’s new york times (here’s the permalink)

I was born in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia in the 70s to a mother who was a flight attendant for Ethiopian Airlines and a father who was a record producer and entrepreneur. I emigrated to the United States in the 80′s and lived in Washington, DC, where there’s a thriving Ethiopian community, before moving to NYC in late 1998.

I worked in corporate media for a number of years, where I enjoyed my role and responsibility as web producer, writer, and television field producer. But I was eager and itching to find a new creative outlet, away from my Midtown office. So I started sketching and a lot of ideas emerged for a handbag line. Coincidentally, my mother has a wonderful sense of style and her closet happened to be full of vintage bags from the 70′s and 80′s.

I went to Ethiopia a year ago to visit my father and I was blown away by the textiles that I saw in the market and knew that I wanted to someday incorporate these textiles into a handbag.

In the fall of 2007, I finalized the four samples that I wanted to debut and began the process of launching Makeda Collection NYC in Brooklyn – a unique line combining colorful, patterned textiles from Ethiopia with leather. My inspiration was iconic, beautiful Africa. The creative process was unlike anything I had experienced in the corporate world and knew that I wanted to pursue it as a business venture. Interestingly, during my research into the leather industry, I discovered the environmental impacts of the leather tanning process, so I decided that my line would only use vegetable tanned leather and organic cotton. As a treehugger and a longtime pescetarian, it’s important for me to be environmentally-responsible. So I have made a commitment to use a green supply chain and services to reduce the company’s carbon footprint.

Additionally, I want consumers to be aware of the social and environmental challenges facing Africa. One of these challenges is access to clean water. In Ethiopia, 76 percent of the population doesn’t have access to clean water. In order to support the numerous charities that operate in Africa, I am planning to launch an e-commerce store where a percentage of the bag’s proceeds will go to various charities like Charity: Water and The Ethiopian Children’s Fund. I believe that consumers can have a direct role in helping to improve the lives of many with their purchasing power.

I debuted my Fall 2008 collection in February at Platform 2 New York, a ready-to-wear and accessories trade show. At this time, the bags are not sold in stores yet. My goal is to start manufacturing a limited quantity in Ethiopia. I’m fortunate to make it this far, especially with the support of family and friends. And I welcome the challenges in the future.

She has been contacted and she has accepted. Stay tuned for the announcement and her post.

I resisted but it’s too damn important. Women might very well be the deciding vote here – he’s got the white men nailed so that’s done, and there is the question of the Latin vote – but I feel confident from all my hours of listening, that this guy first of all, has a better chance of winning the presidency than she does. If for no other reason but to vote against another Bush, vote for him – But there are other reasons – so many other reasons – that I feel inversely excited about him in the same measure as the fear and disappointment I felt when Bush was elected for a second term. Obama, lo and behold, is a true leader, a ‘black swan‘ at a time when we need such a thing. Here’s an interesting segment about Obama and women. And here’s another. I would love a female president as much as it’s obvious that I would, hence my last ten years trying in my own way to champion the tough bootstrapping girl / woman having the courage to carve her own path with a tone of ‘of course we do (carve our own paths). It’s not an anomaly that a woman is strong. we are born strong and have every reason to keep growing stronger from birth, from our over-qualifying in order to succeed, to multitasking, to our health, appearance, passionate work, craft, daily activities, to giving birth, to caring for everyone else around us at once. hell, most of us are strong from day one. we have to be!‘ – but despite my desire to see female leadership continue to manifest in every which way, I feel strongly that Hillary Clinton is not the right person to be our president, female or not. I’d like a woman that we can truly be proud of to be our first, second, third female president. Just like I wouldn’t vote for someone because they are black, I wouldn’t vote for someone to be PRESIDENT just because they are female. That said, Obama has come along just when we need him the most. For the hope and energy he inspires, for the fact that he is an abundantly intelligent, talented and articulate leader, for his expressing all of his wisdom with an accompanying calm I have rarely (never) seen. I am really excited, Really excited about Obama and I hope you are too. May he win and then WIN.

to win:

1. nominate a woman of science, medicine, art, creativity, entrepreneurship, and most of all a non american living in a non american country (hint: not america) to contribute to this blog

2. tip me off to a really good piece of thinking out there in the world – a website, a book, a product, a nifty idea

3. post girl on the street link to your own blog

Send your email with all this stuff to: contest (at) girlonthestreet dot com.

and alakazam (spelling?) you are in the running for this here piece of jewelry courtesy of ice.com

..the person who sends us the best nomination info at girlonthestreet dot com (see sidelinks for the type of individuals we are seeking – we are not seeking someone based on how ‘fashionable’ they are) will receive this hand picked diamond necklace as a Valentine’s Day present from Girl on the street. (courtesy of ice.com, chosen by Chauncey).

When I come across evidence that someone is talking about women in a way that assumes NATURAL resilience and strongmindedness, I like to share it. I grow weary of hearing how fragile we are and how much ‘healing’ and stroking we need to feel good about yourselves. Come on now… quote from article: “a different vision of feminism, femininity and girlhood, …at its heart is a desire — or perhaps the fervent hope — for girls to have it both ways: to be able to paint their nails and break them too”